Going Squirrelly

"Laugh at yourself. It keeps you from going insane - that and whiskey." - Gerald M. Sliva.
I’m going squirrelly. You might be too. Check for clues.
It is autumn, a time to store things, a time to replenish the larder for the tough upcoming winter. But are you going overboard? If you are, it could be a sign of aging and going squirrelly. Older folks love to hoard, stock up, replenish and store things to prepare for the winter, the hard times ahead or the upcoming apocalypse.
It’s happening to me. Yesterday I went to the local supermarket. Wandering through the dental care aisle, I noticed dental floss on sale with a saving of 35% off the regular price.
“Time to stock up,” I said to myself.
I was going to buy 80 rolls of the stuff, but the cheap bastards had a limit of four purchases at the reduced sale price, and there were only four left on the shelf. I snapped those up right away. But how do I get 80 rolls at the sale price? Well, the sale is on all week. The shelves will be restocked and I will return. I can buy four more every time I enter the store. If I make 20 trips between my car and the store I will have the 80 containers of dental floss I need. Don’t laugh. It will be a great investment. I save 35%. Dental floss doesn’t rot, expire or deteriorate with age. Where can you get 35% return on your money these days? Banks give you one half of one percent if you are lucky.
If I live to be 175 years old and don’t lose all my teeth before the dental floss runs out, I’ll have received a great return on my investment. Then Warren Buffet will be coming to me for hot investment tips.
I’m getting older. Maybe you’re aging too. SOooooooooo, what are you stocking up on?
I might be squirrelly, but I’m not nuts.
Gerald M. Sliva
Still Barking

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